the harrowing stages of despair

by unto grey

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about

The Harrowing Stages of Despair
The harrowing stages of despair is based on eight compositions reflecting each of the eight individual stages of despair. The first stage is the Shroud. This is the stage that blankets us in confusion, in falsehood, and in temptation. The confusion is what blinds us in the rational escape to this emotion. The falsehoods are the many lies which seem so real, the overwhelming loss, pain and focus on self. The temptation that draws us in to forgetfulness is there to impede our outlook on the desperation and depression, and its ability to fade. The second stage is the Solitude/Isolation stage. We are now hindered from seeking solutions. A place where we are dwelling in our minds so deep that it bathes us in a false sense of comfort. If we can hide from the desolation that ails us we feel it can somehow be erased. Again the shroud of falsehood veils us in a belief that our calamities originate on everything outside of ourselves. This stage of solitude and isolation is where our darkness confines us to breed the rot from within us. The third stage the Gallows. This is the place where we contemplate our existence. We begin to rationalize the idea of suicide. Our choices diminish and we begin to see death as our only obligation. The fourth stage is the stage Of Self. This is the hardest of all stages to attain entrance into. The misery is so vast that we release all connections to those that are a part of our lives. We become numb to the world outside and thus begins our journey to our end. The fifth stage is the Taken stage. This is where we are carried away by anguish. Anguish has given birth to a presence in which we are incapable from possessing any power or strength to resist the road to our final demise. We are declared helpless and our life force bleeds from the sanctuary of our soul. Stage six is the stage in which we Drown. We are so consumed in self that we no longer see or comprehend the raging ocean of hopelessness that awaits us. There is no escape no surrender once we make the final plunge. Stage seven we become No More. No longer carried we must trudge across the sands of time and into the sea of emptiness and nothingness. The final stage is eight and this is the most vital of all the stages for it is of Hope. The last and only link of our existence. Emptiness cannot exist unless there is substance, nothingness doesn't befall without something to steal and hopelessness is derived from the survival of hope. The flame that burns inside us has not diminished and it stills flickers giving us choice. That waning flame is hope. Grasp and cherish it in these despairing moments let it warm and light the cold bleakness in which you now face.

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released May 1, 2011

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Noctivagant Collective Albuquerque, New Mexico

For those who congregate in darkness...

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Track Name: I-Shroud
How can I express my feelings in this shroud of emptiness
When the steadiness which holds me…unfolds
The hope which passed through me collapsing before my lifeless eyes
Must strive to find my spirituality to guide me…
Track Name: IV-Of Self
How far can I go with this weight bearing down me?
I want what the horizons gently holding for me
Yet I’m stumbling and falling and it begins to hurt
Where’s the strength that once pushed me forward
And the hope that carried me on
Romanticize the thoughts of surrendering to nothingness
Occupy this solace turning into a wanton cry
Craving life to penetrate this monolith of self
Forcing myself continuance
Till remembrance of knowing we are not alone
Track Name: VII-No More
Descent of Inner Consciousness
My broken soul No longer needs The touch of others I found my peace Where nothing breathes And all is still No emotion here
Is this solitude Or isolation calling No longer matters
It’s summoning me Pushing me away From this here life
Finally understood
I am no more